The key to a successful routine for working parents is that most of the action takes place the night before at The Launch Pad.TM The Launch Pad is a plain, brown leather with milk-smears and stale popcorn decorated couch in the family living room. Don’t be fooled by its ordinary, somewhat drab appearance. It is Ground Control for the MRWP.
The night before Launch, Adult Male and Adult Female consult The ChartTM and lay out every item of clothing to be worn or carried by the family group the next day. This includes clothing, handbags, hair accessories, shoes, school bags, stethoscope, library books, sports equipment, handcuffs, computer bags, phones, keys, letters to post, the lot. The Launch Pad has an annexe – The Fridge Shelf TM. Lunches needed for the morning are made the night before and kept fresh and ready in a basket on The Fridge Shelf.
So, if it’s leaving the house tomorrow, it’s at The Launch Pad or The Fridge Shelf tonight.
On the Morning of Launch it’s critical that everyone just gets on with the job and doesn’t deviate from the important business of Getting Out The Door. When the children were smaller, it used to be fun to pretend to be rockets and get ready to whizz, whizz, whizz out the door. This suggestion would now be met with derision and cause mass panic and chaos. Lives could be lost. We keep it straight.
Adult Male wakes early and gets the Toddler her beloved ‘bottiglia’ (Adult Male is of Italian background so it’s not quite as pretentious as it sounds.) School Child soon joins them and eats the standard breakfast of all young Aussie children: Weetbix and Milk. Adult Female drags herself down the stairs looking like a broken-down hag after a night on the turps. She promptly disappears into the bathroom to do things unknown and generally emerges looking not much better.
Whole family takes it in turns to try to rouse Preschooler from her slumber. Adult Male wants to spray her with water (a technique picked up from a nazi-mum on Wife Swap USA) but Adult Female resists. School Child wants to pummel her senseless but Adult Female resists. Toddler gets her nappy changed on top of the bed with much squealing, kicking and hysterical nappy throwing, but the Preschooler slumbers on. Under threats of being left behind to fend for herself and, dear god, tie her own shoelaces, the Preschooler eventually rumples herself out of bed and everyone takes it in turns to try to get her to eat breakfast. She consents to a mandarin, a nutritious, wholesome start to any child’s day.
Family hits The Launch Pad and here the miracle MRWP is realised. The Launch Pad focuses everyone and helps get them sorted. 10, 9, 8… Adult Male and Adult Female take turns assisting the prototype children to get dressed. 7, 6, 5… The Toddler insists on changing her shoes three times, four times, for the love of god just keep the damn shoes on, five times, not Adult Female’s shoes your shoes, your own shoes, six times… 4, 3… clothes are on, shoes are tied, bags are hefted… 2,1… and before too long they are all ready and whizz, whizz, whizzing out the door. Just like little rockets… blast, I forgot to change out of my slippers!
PinkPatentMaryJanes says
Wow.
Mrs Woog says
I seriously learnt so much from this post. This morning in Woogsworld, I had to spend 10 minutes convincing H to wear plain grey jammie pants to tennis camp as I could not find any tracksuit pants. Am implementing your ideas tomorrow oh wise one. xo
Maxabella says
You will note, Woogsie, that at no time in the morning does any child get to comment on the selected outfit (although The Badoo is a shocker with the shoes.) They do, however, get to select wardrobe choices to put on the couch the night before. Maxi-Taxi has never taken up this option and Capper was up for it for about 2 days before deciding that fashion wasn’t her thing after all. The Badoo is trouble.
life in a pink fibro says
Dear God, I am exhausted. x
Gill@OurParklife says
Wow is right….
We do not have school aged children so we do not have much of a routine yet for Getting Out The Door – although I will be using your whizzing out the door technique again this coming Thursday when Toddler goes to daycare….We tried it last thurs after you mentioned it in your comment on our blog…Worked a treat!
ecoMILF says
LOL. I always forget to take my slippers off before I leave the house. It’s really embarrassing when I have my sleek black outfit on and then some beige daggy slippers… what can you do?! xo m.
Naomi says
classic! love it. I really love the part where you wrote about waking up looking like you had spent a night on the turps and even after a shower etc you come out not looking much better…I feel like that all the time as I drag myself through the day. I am sure you looked great in your slippers. Comfort over looks is always better! Naomi.
Rachel says
It sounds like a morning in our house before I stopped work to look after Bip and Bop…. I have to say tho… never in my life have I laughed so hard of a morning…. as I did reading that post…. your take on it is just awesome…. and I also have left the house in my slippers… and didn’t realize until… I got to WORK… i keep a spare pair of shoes in my car along with everything else .phew !!!!
Jodie at Mummy Mayhem says
I am in awe. No…really. I need to use this. I need to use this RIGHT NOW!
*wanders off to prepare lunches for tomorrow*
Wanderlust says
Wow, impressive. Mine is similar, minus any help from adult male. I have the kids eat while I shower and then make their lunches while they are putting on their shoes (yes, it takes them THAT long to put on shoes).
Lou says
I’m in awe. Come here and sort us out please.
My friend’s triplets went to school without pants on, she too needs this advice. I will ensure she gets it.
Over and out.
Christie - Childhood 101 says
Wow, rockets would be left behind in your wake. Talk about preparation and organisation.
Kymmie says
Oh, how I love LinkWithin. I’ve found this little beauty just now. Mornings are quite something, but I love how you’ve put it. Little rockets. I can just imagine the bedlam. (And now my four year old has decided that he will call the fashion shots – ironic, I say). Thanks for a funny yet strangly inspiring post. Oh, and it makes me feel TOTALLY normal. xx