My husband is a first-born Australian; his family is Italian. His mama is from a little village outside of Benevento (near Naples) called Ferrarisi and his father is from a Sicilian island called Lipari. Theirs is a rich, joyous history full of the Italian passion for Catholicism, la dolce vita and concrete.
When I first met LOML, he was 27 and a good Italian boy living at home with his family. At 24, I had been living out of home for over six years and thought that still being at home was… quaint. This was before Gen Y made it fashionable, of course. For the Italians, it never went out of style. “Why you need to rent something? You buy a place and you rent it out to somebody else!” That’s my FIL talking there.
I met his family a couple of months after we started seeing each other – by then we were head-over-heels in love. Was every member of the extended family actually present that day? Row after row of sun-kissed Italian faces wrapped in head scarves. Neat and small with tiny sensible shoes. I towered over the room like some giant Celtic monument.
It was quickly established that my family was originally Irish. It wasn’t something that I had ever given much thought to, but these things carried great weight with the Italians and it seemed very important that we focus on my Irishness. Probably the Catholic thing.
After much discussion and general checking-out, LOML’s ancient Nonno (really only 78, but the booming Italian Godfatherish voice made him seem much older) decided that I was okay. “She might not be Italian,” he declared. “But she has Italian hands.” It was agreed by all present that this was enough. Irish with Italian hands was enough.
Since that very first day, I have always been delighted by the sheer Italianness of LOML’s famiglia. They drive me absolutely bonkers on occasion, but generally we get along beautifully. There is a rhythm and pace to the way they live that is still foreign and wonderful to me after almost fifteen years. We get together, we shout at each other (why speak when you can shout?); I barely understand half of what is said (even when speaking fluent English, their accents are so thick!) but I gesture with those Italian hands as much as I possibly can and it is still, thank god, enough.
brismod says
That is a very cool post. I’m a first born Australian (Italian and French) but always admire how my husband can sit patiently as he tries to decipher the heavy accents and eats everything on his plate even if he is incredibly full!! xx
Michele says
“The important thing is not to be rich with money, necklaces, gold or jewellery. The important thing is to be rich with dreams, friends and love. ” = excellent quote – and so much better in Italian (I type with my Australian/English/Scottish/Danish getting wrinklier every day and looking like my mothers hands)
Glen says
15th generation yokel.
I don’t think we have bread outside the family since 1695.
I have more thumbs than toes.
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
Oh honey – you and me – two peas in a pod! I had a little help before i meet my italian beau as my mum is also first born Australian to an Italian father (and Egyptian/Italian Mother) and all that you describe is so true is so so so many italian families including ours. it took me a while to get them (the PIL’s) that is – but once you do – it’s all semi smooth sailing! I still remember the day we showed my FIL our first house we bought and he took one look at it and said “you doing bad? – why you buy a weatherboard house??” Ahhh they will never change!!!
LOVE it and can’t wait for the next part! xx
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
oh and have a blast in canberra xx
MultipleMum says
I remember the first time I met LOML’s family. It was the first time I realised he was Italian. Really Italian. Like salami and homemade pasta and lots of short people. I loved the Mother Mary shrine and the tiles throughout the house, which your MIL explained made it ‘easy to clean’. They are adorable and we have all been enriched by having them in our family. x
Cathy says
Loved this blog post, it made me smile…I literally laughed out loud at “Theirs is a rich, joyous history full of the Italian passion for Catholicism, la dolce vita and concrete”.
My husband and I were both born here but our parents are Italian and I could visualise everything you were writing about! Glad to hear you got the nod of acceptance…lucky for those hands!
I recently posted about sauce making day haha you might be able to relate to that as well (Jan 2011 post on my blog).
deux chiens et un garcon says
I have always been envious of the Italian way of life and their beautiful languague. You are a lucky girl in so many ways.
My heritage is several generations Australian with Irish ancestry and my Father was from East Germany. My partner is first generation Australian. His parents are Polish and were young adults during WW2. They arrived in Australia in 1948. We live in a street away from them now and enjoying our son getting to kow his Babcia and Djadja.
Diminishing Lucy says
My family is half very British (my fathers side) and half “Australian” (free settlers who came to South Australia from England in 1936.)
Lovely husband is the same. His father is British (but came to Australia in the 1960’s) and his mother is very proud of her convict made good stock.
I am proud to live in a country that claims so many nationalities and allows such strong cultural traditions to thrive…
We live in an Italian neighbourhood. I love it.
LOYL’s fam sound gorgeous.
Gina says
I loved learning all of this! My hubs fam is all Irish. And they all live in IRE, which can be hard.
I am an American mutt – part Italian and part German. I think I am one of the few Americans without any Irish history. You Irish are everywhere :).
Paula says
I am Hispanic. My family came to this continent from Spain in the 1600s, and settled in New Mexico (then New Spain).
New Mexico Hispanics are different than other Hispanics in the United States for their culture, cuisine, accents and world view. I am proud to be an Hispanic of New Mexican roots!
Roxy Carmichael says
OMG your family sounds wonderful. I am just English but it has always been a dream of mine to have one of those really cute Italian grandmas, wizened and wearing black, just permanently camped out in my kitchen making home made pasta and always having soup on the boil! One day I will hire one when I’m a millionaire
anushka says
german (me) and serbian (husband) and it is brought up when we are with our extended families a- lot! my german heritage does mean a lot to me personally though. my mother spoke only german to me growing up so that i’d be bilingual. i spent a month every summer with my grandparents in germany (where they lived) and a half year with my cousins during my sophomore year of high school. because my mother and father are german i was raised with german cultural traditions and nursery rhymes and have become aware of the term ‘third culture kids’ now as an adult and think it is an interesting phenomenon that i can relate to… not really sure what i am. a citizen of the world!
About Last Weekend says
Beautfiful post. Love my parents but I can’t imagine living with them past the age of 17. As I’ve grown older I’ve realised it’s to do with tolerance and taking the long term view. Families that stay together always know they can fight and come back together. In contrast our family have loads of tiffs and sulks. The Europeans know how to dofamily life so well.
My Pigeon Pair says
Oh how I am sure my husband can relate! My mother is Italian (Sicilian) and my Father (Irish) so we have catholic guilt for generations. He has learnt to sit through our all day long eating and cooking fests, and to decipher the half English/Italian “conversations” and laughs when Nonna says “Shut the light”!!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!
Quill and Ink Handmade says
I’m a first born Australian – both of my parents families are Indian, and emigrated in the early 60’s.
I wouldn’t say we’re immersed in an anglo-Indian culture; I’m think all of us own beautiful saris but only seem to wear them for fancy dress parties! But we do have the BEST dinners when we’re all together – mountains of the most delicious hot curries, handmade breads, and sweets that often leave you feeling comatose from sugar overload. The food is definitely one of my most favourite parts of our cultural heritage.
My partner is English – originally from Viking stock! He’s even dreadlocked, broad-shouldered, and full red bearded, as if to hammer it home where his ancestral home once was. His family has an amazing family tree that dates back centuries – I love that our kids will be able to trace their lineage over hundreds of years.
Lovely post, Maxabella!
x
Corinne – Daze of My Life says
Fourth and fifth generation Australian, with Celtic/Anglo/Germanic ancesters. Pretty dull really.
My husband is a mix of Irish, English, Aboriginal, Torres Striaght Islander, Tahitian and Chinese. Far more exotic than I!
LittleBirdDecor says
I’m a first Australian born Italian also. My husband is Australian, as Australian as they come.
He has totally embraced our culture and traditions.I am often in awe at how he blends in so well and even sort of understands what’s being said, even though its a language totally foreign to him.
Georgie says
Gorgeous post and sounds like a wonderful family to be part of. My husband’s family has taken over a small pocket of northern NSW. He was one of only a few cousins to leave. Anyone who has ever lived there knows them all. Lots of wonderful history there too… gxo
emma @ frog, goose and bear says
I am truly jealous. I’d love to have a bit of Italian heritage in there.
Jane says
What a cool story! I love hearing about people’s families and how they’re so completely influenced by culture.
My mum was born in Malaysia to Chinese parents. My dad was born in Ireland to Irish parents. Both sides of my family are so stereotypically Chinese/Irish in every sense of the word.
Mum’s parents eat nothing but rice. Mum plays the piano like a Chinese child prodigy.
Dad’s parents are Irish Catholic and attend mass every morning. They also love potatoes.
I consider myself an Australian and have never visited either of my parents’ countries of origin, but I’m so proud that I have such a multicultural history and have been able to experience the best of two completely diverse cultures.
xxx
Miss Mandy says
Both myself and hubby are aussie as far back as we care to look.
But I have an italian Sister in law, and let me tell you, I love her family. I love that they consider you a part of their immediate family, that you feel so at home with them.
I like to take some of their values and try and inflict it on my family, because they really are gorgeous.
Miss Pink says
My fathers side is German. Both his parents and brothers were born in Germany, and they moved to Australia before my father was born. I grew up speaking German at my German grandparents. Couldn’t tell you a word of it now though. We didn’t eat much German cuisine except for Liverwurst. That stuff is YUMMY on a toasted bread roll.
On my mothers side is a bit multicultrual with my Nan’s sister marrying a Singaporian man and they have dual residency in both Singapore and Australia. Their eldest daughter, who is 30, moved to Australia and started a family here, their son lives abroad and we very rarely see him. He actually met my kids for the first time earlier this year, yes, Bluey is 5.
Then my mothers baby sister married an Australian born but to french parents man. Her other sister married an Italian man who i just ADORE his family traditions…swoon. I love the Italians. They are such a big loving family with delicious food. My mothers eldest brother married a woman who is from an English family.
So i guess you can say my family has a whole lot of everything!
jodi says
I suppose cultures like Italian still strongly believe in the idea of children being raised by a village – many generations living under the one roof. I think they’re right…it’s what we’re missing in this day and age.
Gorgeous story, thanks for sharing x
supermac says
I am actually very interested in all things Italian. I’m very familiar with how close the Italian family can be and how they shout and do all those gestures. I have an aunt who married into a pure Italian family. They visit us once in a while and I always marvel at how they communicate with each other. Italians, they are gorgeous. xx
Naturally Carol says
My husband’s father was a Czech..it was not important to me..but to my boys particularly, it was very important, when they were teenagers especially. Being Aussie or English was ordinary..being part Czech was different and different was good..acceptable.
Posie Patchwork says
I love this, well i married into an Italian Irish family & yes, i love it, the volume – people, noise, cousins, off spring (i did my part too, reproducing). They are FULL on, but very insular, they like to keep to themselves. I just love how they are all ridicously tall, slim, attractive with the best combination – blue eyes, olive skin & totally unfair, they all have dimples. They might be McClellands now but they are Messinas in their heart, fair haired northern Italians who are ALL about family. Love Posie
Gemma @ My Big Nutshell says
Your FIL would be very much at home with my Nonno and Nonna whose family origin is close to Sicily, on the Island of Panerea. The stories they tell are enthralling.
Now it’s winter have you got your stock of freshly knitted woggy booties to wear to bed? (hilarious, but cute: our family dialect call them ‘badofola’s’.
Heather says
Gorgeous post! One of my dearest friends is lebanese background. Her house was my second home. Their culture is rich, colourful and generous. Her grandmother would yell at me ‘Habibi what is wrong with you, you are so SKINNY. You need to eat more food’. I just love being part of their world and it is their family life that I try to incorporate into my own more conservative anglo saxon upbringing! xxx
Abbie says
The blending of cultures. I understand where you are coming from I myself have the same thing.
My husband and I are catholics. He is 100 percent Irish. I am latina.
My mom is from Costa Rica and my father is from Peru. American made with imported parts. haha
I have made sure to impart pride of both of our cultures into our children.
Megan Blandford says
Irish with Italian hands – love it!
My family has a similar Irish/English background, but even that is back a couple of generations. Hubby’s heritage is interesting – his mum is Swiss and his dad is Croatian… and I so get you on the accent thing! I still struggle at times too!
Caroline says
Lovely post! We love to confuse our friends about our family. I’m Australian/English, I married a Russian/Bulgarian and naturalised Dutchman so our son is a mixture of all four plus the Dutch bit. When we travel we take six passports between three of us!
My adopted family though is mostly of Bulgarian stock and we get on really well, even though we don’t see each other very often. We maintain a lot of Bulgarian-ness at home through language and food. The name of my blog is actually a Bulgarian word so it must be rubbing off on me slowly. To be honest I actually couldn’t imagine having married an anglo-Australian and miss this whole other dimension to life.
Notchka says
Great post. I married a Scot. He’s lived outside of Scotland for most of his adult life so I wasn’t prepared for how thick his parent’s accents are…and they speak ‘Doric’ every second work, so I’m completely lost most of the time. I didn’t met them until 2 weeks before our wedding and to be honest I’m not entirely sure I pass the test with them. I’m still trying to work out whether my Christmas present (a book on housekeeping) is a joke or not. Maybe that’s not a cultural thing. Maybe its a MIL thing?
m.e (Cathie) says
hmmm, read the unfollowing post & now reading this & have no idea why this would offend anyone..pfftt.
oh well.
I am australian born from greek-cypriot parents & my partner is australian. I remember in the beginning of our relationship he would question the conversations…well the volume of the conversations and wonder if they were arguments.. ♥