When I left Cappers at school this morning she was crying her sweet little heart out. She didn’t know why.
Inside I was crying even harder. I had a job to go to this morning and I couldn’t stay to be with her. I walked her down to the assembly line, told her I would wait right over there until after assembly and then watch as she went to class.
“Everything is going to be okay, sweetheart,” I said. “The day has only just begun.”
Leaving a sad child is the hardest thing. Not having the time to sit them down and get to the bottom of what’s troubling them. Life can be so overwhelming for little people (and for big!), it feels a bit like abandonment to walk away. Leaving them struggling on their own like that.
I told her teacher that she was suddenly sad, that she had been okay until the bell rang. When I left her she was holding hands with her teacher being lead off to class, her face stricken. My darling Cappers, I thought. She’s not a big hand-holder, she must really be feeling low.
And off I walked, a little bit teary myself. Lost and adrift. I waited for a phone call all day, but none have come.
I’m off to collect her now. When we get home, I will sit her down and try to talk to her about this morning. Hopefully she will look at me like I’m a little bit crazy. I can’t even remember this morning, she will say incredulously, give me a hug and skip off to play.
[Image by David Urbanke]
georgi says
it’s funny, I can so relate to this post. Sometimes you’re just sad for no particular reason .. it used to drive my parents a little bit mad i think! x
ps. hope she is feeling cheery again soon 🙂
Wanderlust says
Oh, your poor little girl. I remember going through this with both my kids when they were in preschool. They each went through a period when they had to be physically restrained as i left. I could hear them crying for me as I left. It felt so wrong. I really goes against every mothering instinct in your body, doesn’t it. I’m hoping she is in good spirits this afternoon (and you too). x
katiecrackernuts says
Let them be sad, I say, ’cause if you’re not sad, how do you know you’re happy?
ClaireyHewitt says
Popps is a sad child. Kind of a lot.
It was breaking me, I was investing so much in trying to change it. But I think it is just who she is. I too left her holding hands with the teacher in the assembly line today, but I don’t expect a call, she is just like that. But it can certainly ruin a Mumma’s day and tonight she will roll through all the reasons why school is just not for her. The loud children, the bigger children, the teacher that was cross, the lady in canteen, she plans on finishing school at the end of Prep.
Jodie Ansted says
Youngest Son is a bit funny about me leaving him at times. He waves from the line, right up the stairs until he has to bend down to wave thru the railings before disappearing behind the concrete!
I’m quite matter-of-fact. “You’ll be fine. I’ll see you this afternoon. Off you go! Have fun!” I find dragging out goodbyes makes it a lot worse. A confident smile to your child and a hearty wave is a great last image for them to hold on to during class!
But of course, it still pulls at my heart strings. The first few weeks after he started school and was a bit sad, I was desperate to walk down the road and check on him during lunch, but I didn’t because I thought it might be more difficult for him. Heart-wrenching. But mosty, he was fine.
xox
Vanessa says
Oh God, I hate that when it happens. It happened last week. Only he doesn’t really tell me what’s wrong. I don’t even know they know sometimes. Depends on their age I guess. I sat with him for about half an hour until he was engrossed in clay, but he still wasn’t right. I try and talk in the car, when we get home but I don’t really get any answers. It’s so unsettling when they’re troubled. Hope she does go off to skip and play like you say.
Kylie @ Octavia and Vicky says
I hope you can get to the bottom of it, and that she has a lovely teacher to support her. With my little bunch of five year olds to teach I don’t think a day goes by that we don’t have at least one in tears. I can usually get to the bottom of it and find a friend to support them. It’s rare that the tears last beyong the roll call. I hope that makes you feel a little better.
Felicity says
Lucky Cappers to have a warm hearted, clever, loving Mum and a caring teacher.
Big hugs to all,
xx
Andrea @ little buckles says
Oh dear. I hope all was ok. I asked Sam the other week if he was happy and he replied saying he was a little bit sad. I was devasted and he couldn’t explain why. I remember as a child feeling low and not knowing why. In fact I think I blamed it on having to drink milk! x
Bri says
My Miss5 (who is in Prep) is still crying when I drop her off at school. She doesn’t do it when her father or grandfather take her, just me. And she cried and screams “Mummy!!!!!!” as the teacher takes her hand and walks her away from me. It breaks my heart and makes me cross at the same time. My son did it for 4 years of daycare but was fine when he went to school.
Megan Blandford says
Heartbreaking. Hope she was all happy again soon after and is enjoying time with her mum now 🙂
Heather says
Sigh…I left a very sad child this morning too. Ella had a talk to do today and she was stricken with anxiety. Sobbed all morning. It was so horrible. It makes me want to keep her with me and protect her from the world on days like this but I know that doesn’t help in the end. I picked her up this afternoon and she was all sunshiny and happy. I hope Miss Cappers was too. x
mel @ loved handmade says
Oh it’s HORRIBLE leaving them like that! I do hope she brightened up nice & quick, they usually do don’t they..x
Danielle Quarmby says
It is awful. Actually sadness is so much harder to leave, Sienna gets that way sometimes. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I left a kicking screaming boy needing physical restraint by his aide. Sometimes I hang about longer, sometimes I duck and run. But it comes and goes.
It’s been very rare that they still feel bad an hour or so later. So many distractions at school.
You’re a lovely mum 🙂
Leonie says
Oh your poor girl.
We have been experiencing something similar with Miss 10. Crying before school, in the car and dropping her off. Sadly, I know the reason why. She has such nasty little girls in her class. I have recently had to return to full time work so feel I am not always available for the times she needs me.
It is so hard to see your child sad, especially leaving them at school.
I hope your precious little one will come home with a big smile on her face.
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
oh god, i’m tearing up just reading this post, as I’m a big bag of tears the minute my kids get teary….I hope she did look at you all weird and go “me? Sad, mum are you on drugs??” But in their own little child like world, little things are so big and so important no wonder the emotion of it all gets too much. good on her for having a cry i say…sometimes i wish i could just burst into tears just to get it all out! (a little something is on it’s way….how i ironic i posted it today??) xx
BabyMac says
I’ve got a sad girl too at the moment. We both aren;t quite sure why either. It’s to do with School and it’s breaking my heart to see my happy, confident, School loving kid dreading going tomorrow already. She said to me tonight “I just wish that I could go from Preschool to University straight away Mum.” and then “perhaps you could be a School Principal when you grow up so you can be MY School Principal.” It’s breaking my heart.
Lipgloss Mumma says
Oh poor Cappers. I hope she was fine when you picked her up. Miss 6 sometimes till has sad days when I drop her to school. It’s much easier now as I know she has a wonderful teacher and will be smiling within 5 minutes.
Miss 3 was having a terrible time since starting a new day care this year. She would sob and sob asking me not to leave. It was heartbreaking. She has become really clingy this year poor petal. Mummy guilt overload!
jody says
Oh, its heartbreaking isn’t it! I hope she was feeling more herself this afternoon. xx
E. says
I hope Cappers was feeling better when you picked her up.
Sarah says
It’s heartbreaking and SO hard to walk away.
Life is a little overwhelming for us all at times – children just tend to deal with it mosre honestly.
Maybe we could learn lessons from that – letting it out might just help us let things go.
I hope you find a happier Cappers when you pick her up.
Miriam says
Hard day for Mama xxx sometimes in the big, big world we all struggle. Not sure how to best unpack it with her but I would say don’t get too overly focussed on negatives… let her talk about them, hear them and acknowledge those feelings and then without lecturing her on what she should be happy about, create a little happy together – look through photo albums, make chocolate sundaes, paint your toenails together…. that’s my 2c for what it’s worth x hope tomorrow is a better day x
C. says
It’s the weirdest thing to be so protective of someone and yet have no control over how their day/life pans out. I struggle with this feeling all the time when my girl is bullied, or sad or feeling sensitive. I try to remember its just as important to let them go a bit sometimes- even when everything inside tells you to go back for that last hug. resilience is so critical for little people these days.
Hope she was feeling better tonight cx
MultipleMum says
Oh Cappers! I hope she found her happy again during the day. So awful 🙁
Rach Jackson says
Poor little darling!
There’s nothing worse than walking away from your child when they’re upset. You poor thing having to worry all day!
I hope she was ok when she got home.
Rach x
Mrs Bok - The Bok Flock says
How was she tonight? It is the hardest thing to leave a sad child. Breaks my heart to leave my little one at daycare if he’s sad.
ally says
Always heart rending.
And nearly always better quickly
Hope she’s having sweet dreams now
x
Robyn says
oh no bless-hope she has forgotten what she was worried about
Glen says
my kids count themselves lucky if I slow the car down before dropping them off at school 🙂
Red Dalish says
Sad little ones are heartbreaking. I hope she was better when you picked her up. x
Jo says
I think it often lingers longer for us than it does for them, hope that’s true for your little Cappers. Love hurts! Keep your chin up…
Nat - Muddy Farmwife says
Such a hard thing to do, walk away when you know your child is upset. Cappers was probably smiling as soon as she sat down in the classroom, all worries forgotten (I hope so anyway).
Carli @ Tiny Savages says
My son used to bang on the glass creche doors with candle sticks hanging out his nose. My husband and I used to say we were walking around with broken hearts. He’s much better in preschool but I know those days are inevitable. Lovely that the teacher took Cappers hand though, I find that always helps x
loulouloves.me says
Breaks your heart. Glad to hear she has a nice teacher, sometimes that can make all the difference…
Deb @ home life simplified says
Missed this yesterday Bron – hope all is well now – it is hard to have to leave but I am sure she knew you were thinking of her.
Super Ordinary Mum says
Poor you and her! I try to make time to find out (but not always possible). I also try to remember that just because it is a little person crying, doesn’t mean it is a little thing. Their emotions are the same as our. Sometimes we just want to cry too. Validate her feelings, and giver her extra big cuddles when she gets home. Hugs to you both…. xxx Sooz
Mez says
Oh so heart wrenching. I have experienced this a little bit lately with my 7 year old. She’s been finding a bit hard to find her placce with her friends this year. When I ‘ve tried to ask her, she clams up. We started playing a game at the dinner table where we have to say the best and worst things about our day and I have found out lots by doing this!