This morning I asked Max three times nicely to put his shoes on and then yelled, “for god’s sake, why aren’t your shoes on already?” and he said, “Why are you so cranky?”
See, this is Max’s latest thing. Whenever I raise my voice or even just speak in a slightly firmer manner, he whines, “Why are you so cranky?”
It makes me so cranky.
So, this afternoon when he came home from school I deliberately baited him (I am such a good mum).
“Max, I asked you nicely as we were leaving school to unpack your school bag when you got home so now I’m yelling it: PLEASE UNPACK YOUR SCHOOL BAG!”
Right on cue he said, “Why are you so cranky?”
And I said, “Well Max, I’m really glad you asked. You’ve been posing that question quite a lot lately so I don’t think I’ve been giving you a carefully considered response. So today I wrote down everything that makes me cranky and I thought I’d share my list with you.”
“Um… okay… can I just go on the computer for FIVE minutes and then you can tell me?”
“No Max. You see this list? Well, right there in the number one position is my first reason for being cranky. See it?
1. I’m cranky because Max is always wanting to go on the computer and I have to fight him every day about it.”
“Oh… okay. What’s number 2 then?”
“2. I’m cranky because no one says please or thank you without me having to say it first.”
“Okay, alright, I get the idea. You don’t need to finish the list.”
“Oh but I do.
“3. I’m cranky because no one listens to me properly.”
“I’m trapped, aren’t I?”
We’re all trapped, son. That’s the bit that makes me the most cranky of all.
But don’t worry, I won’t read you the rest of my list because you’re just a small, bright shiny thing and I’m a tired, old cranky thing and bright shiny things should be able to go on the iPad for FIVE minutes while mum types this list into her blog…
4. I’m cranky because the girls’ room is a permanent pigsty and I cry when I clean it up.
5. I’m cranky because we haven’t had an unbroken night’s sleep in nine and a half years.
6. I’m cranky because the Badoo insists on having a full vegemite wrap for breakfast but only ever eats half and you’d think I could stand up to a five year old.
7. I’m cranky because I loathe all the parties in Australian politics right now and an election is looming.
8. I’m cranky because I tucked the same chair under the table about 27 times yesterday because I’m the only one around here who tucks chairs in.
9. I’m cranky because I always seem to get the end of the roll of toilet paper.
10. I’m cranky because I don’t know what to cook for dinner and I’m supposed to be meal planning.
11. I’m cranky because I continue to snag my shirt on the laundry door handle every time I walk past it and I’ve been meaning to fix that situation for years.
12. I’m cranky because I’m cold.
13. I’m cranky because I still don’t know how I feel about corporate branding on blogs even though I’ve wracked my brain about it way too many times.
14. I’m cranky because drawing with chalk all over the verandah was probably fun at the time but mopping up chalky footprints for days and days and days just ain’t.
15. I’m cranky because out of the blue three nights ago an evil little thought popped into my head and said, “It would have been nice to have four children.”
16. I’m cranky because I’m fat and I should do something about it.
17. I’m cranky because life is too over-analysed these days so no one can even breathe without second guessing themselves (there is even a correct way to breathe, did you know?)
18. I’m cranky because there is always too much to do and most of it is boring.
19. I’m cranky because the world doesn’t love my kids as much as I do.
20. I’m cranky because I’m up to number 20 and I’m only just getting started.
Michelle@myslowlivingadventure says
I was never cranky before I had kids!!
Maxabella says
Me either – never! Now I’m sewing cranky pants like there’s no tomorrow.
It’s nice seeing you pop up in my comments here and there today, Michelle. x
mia says
I never was cranky before I had kids either. I have wanted to leave my home so many times and leave the kids behind. I always said there has to be better than this in the big wide world. This sucks!. Who said having kids (and I was married was great) it sucks, give me back my single life, with my single friends, carefree fun and happy. Now I am always unhappy, cranky, teary and hate my life some days. I love my kids but don’t always like them. Its my truth.
Maxabella says
You’re an honest soul, Mia and that’s so commendable. I have definitely had days where I wanted to run out the front door and just keep on going, I was so miserable looking after my screaming, ungrateful, exhausting children. It was always just a day, mind, some days are the worst kind of days. If you feel like that a lot, I hope you are seeking some help. I don’t think anyone, ever, deserves to feel like that all the time!!!! x