As we go about this life we collect some marvellous people along the way, don’t we? I know scores of people who I like so very, very much and yet… I can never seem to find the time to see them.
I want to see them.
I always love their company and they are friends that I can just relax around and be my silly self. Many are people that I have shared some important moments in my life with – school, university, first job. But it’s gotten to the point where the only time I see some of these dear friends is when I invite them over to a mass party at my place and spend approximately 5 minutes talking to them. It breaks my heart. I bask in their light a little and wonder why I don’t see them more regularly.
But I never do.
Instead we spend a goodly amount of time arranging catch-ups that never see the dark of night (or light of day, for that matter). Promises to catch up, broken arrangements to catch up, no actual catching up. It’s been years for some people, decades for others… Dear god, is this how I’m going to spend the rest of my life?
Cherie @ 'a baby called Max' says
It’s horrible, isn’t it?
Unfortunately, I have no advice, as I’m too often in that same boat myself.
So instead, I’ll tick ‘yes’ to e-mail notification of comments, & see what some of your other readers come up with š
::The Beetle Shack:: says
you have massive parties? you hipster
Kylie says
It’s so true. I have friends I manage to see once a year… and they don’t live far away or anything. We laugh about it but no-one has any solutions. I like the Beetle Shack’s idea of having a big party š Kx
Kelly says
Oh Yes! I have the same problem – so many beautiful friends but not enough time ♥
Jen R says
Mmm I think as we get older even though we have ‘friends’ we love spending time with we really do choose to make time for the really special ones that we cant live without š
ally says
We did it this year – we found a weekend – all flew to Melbourne and had the most amazing night/day together with some of our oldest friends (no kids). Its not perfect, its not enough but it was great.
Brenda @ Mira Narnie says
oh yes, i think it gets worse if you move around and make friends here, there and everywhere. i hate facebook so refuse to converse with friends on there…so yes, i fall into the category of wishing i saw them more but dont ;-(
Steph says
I’m quite the useless friend and am totally hopeless at returning phone calls, emails and the like! I’m the queen of “let’s get together soon” but it never seems to happen. Like you, when we finally get together you wonder why you haven’t for so long as you have such a blast. Mmmm…life….it’s a tricky business ain’t it?! x
Mrs Bok - The Bok Flock says
It is HORRIBLE isn’t it!! I feel the same way!
Lots of people probably hate this but…I’ve found facebook really handy for sharing thoughts, conversation, words of support, photos, with friends and family I love but never get to see. At least I can watch the children growing up, share in part in an event I missed (again!) and be part of the conversation in each others lives.
cathy@home says
Well I catch up on Facebook as much as I can but keeping in touch with them is hard
Tammi says
I am totally useless at keeping in contact..it’s not that my friends aren’t in my thoughts a lot, I just get caught up in the hectic day to day stuff that many days/months/years go by before we actually get the chance for some face to face time.
I love though that with my great friends, we can go months between visits and just pick up where we left off š
x
Muddled Up Mumma says
I struggle with this too. The best of intentions, but hardly ever make it happen. If you find the magic answer, let me know.
Alice Becomes says
I rely on Facebook, email and skype to keep in touch with my dearest as they are not so nearest anymore. Some friends I haven’t seen for a couple of years as we moved south three years ago and trips up to the city are often consumed with family visits.
Nic xo
Posie Patchwork says
True, wonderful, old friends who know the genuine daggy you, will always be there. We all just need to retire early & hang out in our 50s together without a care in the world, that’s how we’re going to do it!! Oh, mass caravan convoy around Australia maybe?? Love Posie
Kirsty @ Bowerbird Blue says
I think sometimes some friendships pass, you still love them but there is only so much time in a day. We’ve done big parties but you only get in a quick hello and chat so it’s not like properly catching up. I like the idea of having some traditions in place, we have a music festival we always catch up with a few friends at. Tricky one, I know those lets catch up conversations well.
Gemma @ My Big Nutshell says
Oh it is hard! My school friends and I do a regular (every two month) meat up, where we eat meat that we don’t have to cook at a lovely pub on the water. Before we leave we lock in the next date. The other night we decided that on 5 november we are booking a hotel room and just us girls are having a sleep over together for a Saturday night. The room was booked today.
Wish I could do that with more of my friends. BUT sometimes when you don’t have to catch up and you have time to breathe at home without rushing it is really lovely too.
Mum on the Run says
We do the exact same thing here.
Today we missed our regular playgroup in order to catch up with some special (but not seen enough) friends – and I’m so, so glad we did.
š
Rhonda says
I’m hopeless at replying to emails, phone calls, texts…I always plan to keep in touch but rarely do. If it were for facebook (and even that is lacking these days) I’d probably never talk to my dear friends.
Saffron says
I’m trying not to say, “Lets meet up!” Unless I think I’ll have time to follow through with it. I want to let my friends know that I would like to see them so it used to just roll off the tongue, but now I’m thinking a phone call out of the blue saying, “Are you free this week?” would be much better than a promise so old it’s been forgotten about.
Anyway, I’m rambling, One friend I’ve known for 18 years and I went to a hotel one Saturday morning to use the facilities-pool, jacuzzi, sauna, steam room, etc- it was lovely and relaxing and we went for lunch after, it was a great way to catch up : )
shine little light* says
Like the advice that you gave to BabyMac once. Just do it. We have a friend who drops around. It’s awesome. He doesnt care if we have no food and the house is a pigsty. He just wants to see us and we are always grateful to see him. I mean, I dont have kids, so I imagine its 20x harder but. Just catch up. Coffee only takes an hour tops. *s*
Privet and Holly says
When your littles become
bigs you should most
definitely try to get away
for a long weekend or even
longer, together. In 2010
I was able to take two mini-
trips like that and it was
wonderful. My kids were
11 and 15 ~ bigs ~ so it
was easier to organize. As
far as locals, I have a friend
with college age kids who
meets me for coffee near the
place my son takes guitar lessons
each Monday. Only an hour,
but it’s a placeholder for our
friendship and we both look
forward to it. I have a neighbor
who I love and we meet from
time to time to walk our dogs.
Touch points. It doesn’t always
have to be a big production : )
xx Suzanne
Lizeylou says
Just recently I took a weekend and went to Melbourne.
I had lunch with 2 dear friends, dinner with others and then the next day I saw a couple more before I had to head home late afternoon.
And while that may sound busy it was so lovely to have a few hours with each friend NO KIDS and just laugh, eat, talk, and all of the fun stuff in between.
It was fantastic!
MummyK says
The proverbial question. We’re all over the world so catch ups are rare. The ones here are rare too, has to be scheduled. It’s just one of those things.
one claire day says
Planning parties like that there’s no bloody wonder you’ve no time for anything or anyone else!!! š š
In all seriousness, life is busy and often challenging and I think we all spend too much time stressing about catching up… I think the natural, spontaneous reunions are often the best – even if they’re few and far between.
X
Diminishing Lucy says
I read this earlier whilst waiting for the kids to pour out of school. As a result I am meeting with a very lovely friend for lunch on Friday – so, thank you, for inspiring me to get off my arse…
Down that Little Lane says
I reckon it will get easier as the kids get older and our lives don’t revolve around THEIR social life… The bestest ones are so easy to slot back in with..
I just try and text, email and comment on FB and hope they still love me when I come out the other side x
Kate says
Well I can understand how your feeling right now.Why don’t you catch with them weekly ? No need to give a huge mass party for that! Tell each of your ex-batch mates to take out time once a week for a get together?!? If you ask me I am bad at catching up with friends.I can only advice but honestly I don’t spend even fraction of the total time you spend with your pals.I am in contact with my world of friends through FB!
Am I a Good Friend?
How good is your friendship?
http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/friend/friend_instructions.asp
Leonie says
totally agree and understand. Although love those friends who when I finally get a chance to see and we just pick up where we left off.
I use FB to keep in touch, its the only thing that keeps me using fb otherwise I would get rid of it.
But would be nice to see them face to face for a relaxing chat more often.
Cath says
I only wish my bestest friends were on FB… I find I only keep in touch with the ones who are.
Breakfast is always good. Once upon a time, when we lived interstate, we would come over for a weekend every now and then, pick a cafe and invite everyone to breakfast. Whoever showed, showed. We had fun. It was pre-kids though… wonder if would work now?
Kellie @ Sasse Avenue says
My closest friends and I are spread out all over Australia and one in particular, I have not seen since my wedding day in 2003. It’s crazy, I miss them terribly but I know when we do catch up it will seem like no time has passed.
I am your newest follower. Karla from http://ironmumkarla.blogspot.com/ posted about your fantastic blog today so I thought I would come over, have a look and I love it.
Kel x
Anna Walker says
Uh, I text and facebook them, and hope to visit someday! They also are mad at me because I haven’t seen them…especially when I’m in the area. It’s so hard to keep in touch! Maybe schedule a time where you can and will call them once a week!
http://annawalker1992.blogspot.com/
edward and lilly says
My dearest friend and I catch up on the second Sunday of every month, we have it locked into our diaries from now until the end of time š
I made the mistake a few years ago of not making time for my closest friends, life gets so busy but after a few sad events last year I realised that making time is more important than anything else.
Paula says
I’ve come to the realisation that you HAVE to catch up in person, even if it’s just once a year. Otherwise you drift. No amount of online/email/phone contact makes up for the quality of an in-person, bevvy in hand catchup with a dear old friend. The real life effort/car trip has to be made. Getting together for an occasion helps too – birthday or Christmas season – somehow the memories seem to really stick that way. Great post, M.
Blue and the Girl says
It’s hard isn’t it – especially if you’re the type of person who enjoys really being with your friends – listening to them, sharing with them…. I have two small children so there isn’t a whole lot of those times going on at the moment….
However – i know that there will be again – and for the in-between time I find putting one of the kids drawings in an envelope and sending it to one of the rarely-seen special people, or burning some music and sending a disk…(no writing – no explanation) is a pretty fine way of letting them know they’re still very present in my thoughts. It’s quick and loaded with love! M
Laura says
I know, it’s hard, really hard. Facebook and text messages are god sends.
Diane says
Really sorry to hear that- you know it is so hard situation. I am in the same situation sometimes. Recently one of my best friends have gone to work in Germany and I really miss him!
Cheryl Roth says
So true, life is too fast these days. My mother used to write letters and schedule visits on her way to other places. I’ve never figured out how she had the time except that life was slower then.
Kymmie says
Oh so true Bron! I love to stay in touch, although an actual catch up is hard to come by. Means life is far too busy, and I don’t like that. Because relationships are by far more important than a job.
(Unfortunately, the job pays much better.)
I’m on Facebook for this very reason: to stay in touch. I blog for the same reason: to stay in touch. Seems I’m pretty good at that. But actual real life catch ups… could do better.
Much better.
xx
Metropolitan Mum says
In my case most of my friends live really far away from me. And it’s breaking my heart that I don’t see their kids growing up and that we can’t just meet for a cup of tea and a chat. I don’t know what to do either š
Danelle says
I’m enjoying your blog. You think like me in many ways. My last post was about friendships. We need those connections with other women more than we realize. Thanks for sharing your thoughts so honestly.
Danelle